Helping children cope with tragic events

Robin Welsh, MD

Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics

Your child saw a frightening story on the evening news. How do you respond to your child’s questions?

According to Robin Welsh, MD, the main thing to keep in mind is that children look to their parents and base their reactions on how their parents react to the news.

“Limiting access to television and the internet is always wise,” said Welsh. “Obviously, you can’t control everything your child sees or hears, so if you know your child is upset about a news story, sit down with them and talk about their feelings. Always be mindful that your child is watching how you react. They are very aware of your expressions and your tone of voice and will look to you to know how they should feel.”

“When there is a tragic event, your child is wondering if he or she is safe. Take time to reassure them that they are in a safe environment and go over safety information and procedures in case they ever feel unsafe,” said Welsh.

Welsh offered these tips when talking to your children about tragic events: 

• If your child asks questions, take the time to answer and help calm your child’s fears.
• Give no more information than necessary to answer their questions and address their fears.
• The younger the child, the simpler the explanation.
• Be reassuring.
• Limit their access to TV news, internet news and adult conversations in the home about the event. Look for the positive things that often happen after a tragedy and discuss them with your child.

“Children see so much violence and conflict on cartoons and TV shows, that at some ages, children may not be able to separate fiction from reality,” said Welsh. “Their responses and your explanations will be age specific. Keep your explanations appropriate for your child’s level of development.”

Welsh said that when people do senseless things, there is no explanation. It is okay for parents to admit they are sad about the news story and that they don’t understand why it happened.