How to deal with conflicts at work

Stephanie Berg, MD

Prisma Health Behavioral Care

Conflicts are a normal part of life. Since many of us spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our families, we’re bound to encounter conflict at some point. Psychiatrist Stephanie Berg, MD, offered some tips on how to deal with conflicts at work and how to recognize when the conflict has reached the level of bullying.

What can you do if you have conflict with a coworker?

“It’s important to acknowledge there is a conflict and look at it directly in a non-judgmental way, which may be difficult to do,” Dr. Berg said. “If you can, deal with it directly by having a calm conversation with the person you’re having an issue with.”

In some cases, this open communication can help to resolve the problem and you can move forward with your coworker without further conflict. In other cases, though, the conflict may be too complicated to resolve through simple conversation. It’s important to address it in an appropriate way. This often involves speaking with supervisors or managers and pulling in human resources professionals when needed.

How do you know if you’re being bullied at work?

We might think that bullying is something that only happens in school, but bullies can be adults, too. Bullying in the workplace is actually common.

“About 19% of people have been directly bullied in their lives and an additional 19% of people have noted that they’ve seen people being bullied in the workplace,” Dr. Berg said. “Also, about a quarter of people who leave their jobs say it’s because of bullying.”

Bullying can take lots of different forms, including:

• Gossiping, which includes spreading rumors.
• Mob bullying, where one person is the ringleader and then pulls in other people against a person who has been singled out.
• Setting someone up for failure. This can involve giving somebody too much work and unreasonable deadlines. Or it could be not giving enough work , so they don’t receive promotions or other achievements.
• Intimidation. This can include inappropriate comments, stalking or a lack of privacy.

How do you address workplace bullying?

The approach of dealing with somebody directly typically doesn’t work with bullies. In these situations, it’s best to go to your manager. If the bully is your manager, going to HR is the recommendation.

If that doesn’t work, you might want to consider leaving for a new job.

“It can be very difficult to get out of a bullying situation, which is why many people don’t leave their jobs,” Dr. Berg said. “There are many reasons why people feel they must stay. It could be due to financial concerns, a lack of confidence, or not wanting to leave behind their friends and coworkers. It can be difficult to leave a job, but it is toxic to stay involved in a bullying situation.”